The Four G’s
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Peacemaker Ministries
:

“Another key principle of peacemaking involves an effort to help others understand how they have contributed to a conflict. When Christians think about talking to someone else about a conflict, one of the first verses that comes to mind is Matthew 18:15: ‘If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.’ If this verse is read in isolation, it seems to teach that we must always use direct confrontation to force others to admit they have sinned. If the verse is read in context, however, we see that Jesus had something much more flexible and beneficial in mind than simply standing toe to toe with others and describing their sins.

Just before this passage, we find Jesus’ wonderful metaphor of a loving shepherd who goes to look for a wandering sheep and then rejoices when it is found (Matt. 18:12%u201314). Thus, Matthew 18:15 is introduced with a theme of restoration, not condemnation. Jesus repeats this theme just after telling us to ‘go and show him his fault’ by adding, ‘If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.’ And then he hits the restoration theme a third time in verses 21%u201335, where he uses the parable of the unmerciful servant to remind us to be as merciful and forgiving to others as God is to us (Matt. 18:21%u201335).

Jesus is clearly calling for something much more loving and redemptive than simply confronting others with a list of their wrongs. Similarly, Galatians 6:1 gives us solid counsel on our what our attitude and purpose ought to be when we go to our brother. ‘Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.’ Our attitude should be one of gentleness rather than anger, and our purpose should be to restore rather than condemn.”

I great article on the purpose of truth in love. However I think we need to affirm a believers heart is always good.