Desperately avoiding the friend-zone?
There Are 3 Stages in Romantic Relationships
Most couples get the order wrong. Lots of couples just dive headlong into relating—working out their issues and differences. Others skip even that step and start right out in bed—mating.
You might ask, “Does it matter?” And, yes, based on our research it does. Successful couples are much more likely to date for a period of several weeks before they start relating and then mating.
Dating is casual, fun, no investment and the early scratch and sniff test.
Relating is getting to know one another and learning if you can negotiate your differences in a way that works for both of you.
Mating (getting physical) happens AFTER you move through the first two stages.
But Most Couples Mess This Up and Too Quickly Go From Dating to Mating.
Mating too soon in the process causes several problems.
We quickly become overly invested in a person we don’t even know.
Men lose respect for women who jump in the sack too fast—even if they ask them to.
Women lose respect for men who jump in the sack too fast—even if they ask them to.
We don’t allow the erotic tension to build—and we should—as a way to develop our maturity.
I’ve seen this yet again today. There’s an ancient order to how healthy relationships form — and no amount of rationalizing, denial, political ideology, ranting against religious control or buoyant self-confidence is going to allow you to escape the costs if you try to skip steps.
The human heart simply doesn’t work any other way.