Why do we hold back from those we love?
Many people have the ambition to prevent bad things from happening. This is their definition of control. For controllers, life is grim and pessimistic. Controllers have an unnecessarily difficult time in coping with the disappointments of everyday life. They blame themselves for failing to prevent them, as if that were their responsibility. These sufferers have a particularly difficult time in managing their emotional responses. Suzanne is a case in point.
The linked interchange is neat, tidy and I don’t for a second believe it actually came off anywhere that smoothly in real life.
But, it’s a good depiction both of how our magical thinking works — and how, sometimes, it is actually our love for our partners that keep us from engaging them fully.