Why Christian Counselling?
Understanding what sets us apart.
Is Christian Counselling nothing more then standard therapy offered by a psychologist who just happens to be a Christian? Is it worth your while to take the time and search one out at all?
Are the issues you have to discuss about your marriage even connected to such? Is your faith really all that relevant to your communication issues or the fight you had last week?
And anyway, are not all therapists supposed to be impartial, client centered and leave their value systems at the door so they don't impose their beliefs on the client?
If you've ever wondered any of the above, then read on to see what Henze & Associates can offer that truly sets us apart:
Perhaps this is your marriage?
Imagine you have been watching your marriage slip away for years.
Perhaps you finally got to wondering what he had been doing on that computer all of those late nights. You found a spare moment, logged in and started looking at his Internet history. When you did, you were instantly greeted by thousands of erotic or pornographic web sites and the hours spent on sites for escorts. Instantly, you understand why he hasn't been sexually interested in you once this month.
Perhaps you have felt the sting of her barely hidden resentment for years and, yet, could never figure out why she always claimed things were fine. But, tonight, when she left her phone unlocked, you started seeing text messages from a co-worker popping up on the screen. A few minutes of browsing them suddenly has offered you a very clear picture of why she has had to work late so often this year -- and how little hope she has left for the future of your marriage.
The next few days pass in a whirlwind of first denial, then anger, then furious recriminations followed by deep sadness and then cold silence. Finally, you have time to think.
As you sit there feeling the crushing weight of betrayal, the self-directed contempt for your blindness, the furious rage at your spouse and the terror for the future of your marriage and the family your children so desperately need, one question crosses your mind:
How can our relationship recover from this infidelity?
Suppose, after further convincing, your spouse reluctantly agrees to give it one last chance and go to counselling with you. You end up in a counsellor's office only to discover that your counsellor is morally neutral, believes that monogamy is unrealistic and that children do fine in all sorts of alternative families. If it feels good, then do it...
Or, suppose that counsellor begins with a non-directional cost/benefit discussion of personal fulfillment and questions if either of you could ever be fulfilled within this present marriage? All of the problems in the marriage get poured out. The therapist diagnoses him as a pervert or her as a serial philanderer. After some discussion surrounding how a divorce is fine for children, the counsellor follows up with a question about why either of you bother to stay?
What if that counselor is completely opposed to the entire idea that marriages should be saved in first place?
How is Christian Counselling different?
Reality: Every therapist has values, hidden or stated up-front. Of the two, hidden values are much more dangerous because the counselor's value system ALWAYS will eventually leak out during sessions. When a therapist shares your values, you get better therapy.
We are not value neutral.
We believe in restoring marriages, healing relationships, the hope that children would be cherished and raised by both of their biological parents, that, in Christ, forgiveness is possible for anything, that dignity must be preserved, that truth matters and that God has given every person the freedom and the power to choose something so much better.
We believe that a lifetime commitment, vowed before God and friends or family must never be taken lightly and that sexuality is a sacred gift that needs to be 100% poured out within the marriage relationship. If a marriage cannot be saved, we will, of course, work to restore those wounded by such and prepare them for future relational success, but our hearts are still firstly about restoration.
We regard divorce as a tragic end and hold that the goal of counselling is to help people succeed in their current relationship. We take problems seriously, address them at the deepest levels and believe Band-Aid style fixes are not an option.
We believe that grace is real.
That Christ really ended judgment forever and that transformative shame and guilt free relationships with each other and with God are possible. We believe people were created with inherent value, that their hearts were created to seek meaning and purpose and that the freedom we were each given to seek such can only be exercised once judgment and condemnation has been stripped away.
We fix shattered marriages and families
For the last seventeen years in Calgary, we have been doing what needs to be done to save marriages and we're not going to stop any time soon. We strengthen marriages, rescue families and transform hearts.
Finally, we believe this is not a game. It's not just a way to keep you in sessions forever. There are a definite set of goals to be accomplished, skills to be learned and abilities to be implemented so that the relationship is not just preserved - it is free to soar.
If you're looking for something different, then perhaps it is time to reach out and see what Henze & Associates can offer you?