Q&A: How do you raise children by grace?:

“ It is how they will try to keep you from knowing what they have done as they sense shame and inadequacy from it no matter how much you try to convince them Jesus took care of it.

They will think like this no matter how hard you try to teach them grace. Don’t get depressed by this … it is the backdrop by which they will realize true grace in time. ”

This is a good article stressing the importance of not pretending the flesh can ever be righteous.