Good Men Project – Dear Daughter, I Hope You Have Awesome Sex…

You know, if we draw a continuum, on the far right is the guy the above-linked author caricatured — the idiot who is busy trying to gain control over his daughter’s sexuality by threatening the life of his daughter’s boyfriend. A way along on the continuum is general society snivelling out that, “You should only do it (Read: Prostitute yourself for love) with the one you love…” On the far left is this guy (who, to his credit, is at least done with shame and guilt…) but who thinks sex is about as high value as a handshake.

But really, all of them think of sex as a means of barter and hold it in nearly no respect…

And, somewhere, nowhere near the entire continuum, is a better option:

Dear daughter,

Yes, sex is beautiful, wonderful, special and fantastically pleasurable and I hope you have the best sex ever.

I so deeply want you to have that totally awesome sex and I long for you to be captivated by how special and mysteriously powerful it is. I want you to know how deeply it can penetrate into your soul, transform your sense of being and forever call your heart’s bonding potential to life. I want you to come to respect how much of an exalted act of worship it is to Almighty God and how passionately spiritual of an experience it can be.

I want you to have such a deep awareness of how mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally pleasurable and honouring sexual intimacy is that if it feels dead, mindless, shameful, pressured, controlling, demanded, guilted, manipulated for, purchased, prostituted, over stimulating, out of place, painful, insecure, abandoning, forced, fake, threatening, objectifying, risky and like you are buying love with your body that you will NOT DO IT!!!!!

Why? Because sex is supposed to be pleasurable, wonderful, beautiful and special and you have my personal permission to scream, “NO!!!” and kick the nuts of anyone who would make you feel anything else well over the 40yrd line.

Love Dad

P.S., And, face it, it’s not exactly likely you are gonna feel what you should until some dude has gotten brave enough to put a ring on your finger…

Exactly why is it that, in all of our culture’s narratives about sex, no one wants to admit it is about pleasure?