Think older married couples are mostly celibate?
Think older married couples are mostly celibate?February 25, 2015 Comments Off on Think older married couples are mostly celibate?
The average older adult who had been married for a year had a 65 percent chance of having sex two to three times a month or more. At 25 years of marriage, the likelihood of that frequency dropped to 40 percent. If the marriage lasted 50 years, the likelihood was 35 percent. But if the marriage – and the lifespan – of the older adults continued, at 65 years of being together, the chance of having sex with that frequency was 42 percent.
Dr. Stroope said that at least two competing forces were at play around sexuality in a long marriage. One is called “habituation,” the dulling of sexual senses as a couple becomes inured to each other, worn by life’s quotidian and lurching demands.
But long-timers also accumulate what Dr. Stroope calls “relationship capital”: in good marriages, he said, “you’re building up to something, accumulating experience and knowledge about your intimate partner over time that builds on itself.”
And so, as adults age, their social circles shrink, they know time is limited, they look around and what do they see? Each other.
“They place intimacy as a high priority,” said Dr. Pillemer, whose new book, “30 Lessons for Loving,” is drawn from interviews with 700 older adults. “Many people told me that you don’t notice the physical differences in a long marriage. The person still seems the same to you. “
The full article is worth reading, but it can all be summarized like this:
Want someone to think you are beautiful/handsome and still want to have sex with you when you are old, grey and wrinkly? Get married to someone and then love and cherish him/her for the next 65yrs.
Yes, it’s that simple.
And, you may still be getting more sex at that age than a lot of near-newlyweds…