• Why saving your marriage matters.
    Why saving your marriage matters.
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    Nautilus

    Schroepfer will never forget when one of her hospice patients was hovering at the edge of death. She was unconscious, barely hanging on. Her children had all told their mother it was okay to let go. But the woman’s grieving husband hadn’t been able to give his blessing. Finally, after talking with his daughter, he decided he was ready to give his wife permission to leave them. “He sat down beside her and told her he loved her, and that it was okay,” Schroepfer recalls. “He got up to walk back to his chair. Right after he sat down, she raised her head out of the coma, said ‘I love you,’ and died. I was glad their daughter was there too, or I would have thought I’d imagined it.”

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  • A Zen Buddhist take on love…
    A Zen Buddhist take on love…
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    Brain Pickings

    At the heart of Nhat Hanh’s teachings is the idea that “understanding is love’s other name” – that to love another means to fully understand his or her suffering. (“Suffering” sounds rather dramatic, but in Buddhism, it refers to any source of profound dissatisfaction – be it physical or psychoemotional or spiritual.) Understanding, after all, is what everybody needs – but even if we grasp this on a theoretical level, we habitually get too caught in the smallness of our fixations to be able to offer such expansive understanding. He illustrates this mismatch of scales with an apt metaphor:

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  • The purity culture gets married — kinda…
    The purity culture gets married — kinda…
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    Relevant

    We weren’t haunted by the ghosts of prior sexual experiences or battling with regrets. We desired to be together free and unashamed, but we were plagued by our inability to stop feeling guilty about fulfilling sexual desires we had trained ourselves to view as wrong and dangerous. While we intellectually believed that sex was a good thing that was intended for enjoyment in marriage, we had spent years conditioning ourselves to respond to sexual feelings with fear, guilt and shame.

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  • Do you demand, or withdraw?
    Do you demand, or withdraw?
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    Psychology Today

    My last (failed) relationship, it turns out, is a psychological cliché, which is disheartening but at least it gives me plenty of company. If you’d peeked through my windows, you would have seen me-imploring with tears in my eyes or angry with my voice raised-demanding that we address the problems we were having. You’d also have seen my partner, his arms folded across his chest, silent and unresponsive, a dismissive look on his face.

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  • Does a wandering mind kill sex?
    Does a wandering mind kill sex?
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    Psychology Today

    Reviewing some 40 years of research on women with problems of low sexual desire, French sexologist Marie Geonet and colleagues recently concluded (link is external) that negative thoughts play a key role in women’s sexual dysfunction: They distract women from erotic stimulation, produce anxiety and guilt, and diminish sexual arousal and pleasure.

    Similar processes appear to operate in men. Recent work from Portugal by Catia Oliveira and colleagues (link is external) has provided evidence that males’ arousal is linked closely to their thinking. In their small sample, distracting thoughts were the best predictor of inhibited genital response.

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  • Think older married couples are mostly celibate?
    Think older married couples are mostly celibate?
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    NYT

    The average older adult who had been married for a year had a 65 percent chance of having sex two to three times a month or more. At 25 years of marriage, the likelihood of that frequency dropped to 40 percent. If the marriage lasted 50 years, the likelihood was 35 percent. But if the marriage – and the lifespan – of the older adults continued, at 65 years of being together, the chance of having sex with that frequency was 42 percent.

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  • The secret to really turning a woman on!
    The secret to really turning a woman on!
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    Brain Blogger

    By examining results from these three sexual fantasy measures, the three Canada-based researchers that published the study found;

    ‘direct evidence that object of desire themes are linked more to women’s sexuality than they are to men’s.’

    How integral object of desire self-consciousness (ODSC) is to a woman’s sexual relationships is likely to vary, being largely dependent on how her sexual self-schemas, that is, her cognitive representation of her sexual self, represents her as an object of desire.

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  • Maybe you SHOULD date outside of your, “Type.”
    Maybe you SHOULD date outside of your, “Type.”
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    Thought Catalog

    Then one day, Jeremy invited me to a theatre a couple of blocks away from his apartment. My closest office friend wasn’t convinced. She told me that he was going to ask me back to his place, just so he could make a pass at me.

    Jeremy did invite me to see his apartment, and he did make a pass. The next day he asked me to marry him. Here’s where I have to admit that I was a commitment-phobe myself.

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  • What defines a successful marriage?
    What defines a successful marriage?
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    Business Insider

    To err is human, Gottman says, but to repair is divine.

    “The thing that all really good marriages and love relationships have in common is that they communicate to their partner a model that when you’re upset, I listen,” he says. “The world stops, and I listen. And we repair things. We don’t let things go. We don’t leave one another in pain. We talk about it, and we repair it.”

    That’s where gentleness comes in.

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  • YOU – drop those pajamas and step towards the bed!!!
    YOU – drop those pajamas and step towards the bed!!!
    1 Comment on YOU – drop those pajamas and step towards the bed!!!

    Diply

    Scientific studies show sleeping naked has enough health benefits to make people think twice before reaching for those coveted pyjama shorts or fuzzy flannels ever again.

    According to several research efforts, sleeping naked has health benefits ranging from the prevention of diabetes to lowered belly fat; shedding clothes before sleep can also increase the body’s anti-ageing hormones, help you sleep deeper and longer, decrease vaginal bacteria and improve sex lives.

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