• How to raise a victim of childhood sexual abuse
    How to raise a victim of childhood sexual abuse
    1 Comment on How to raise a victim of childhood sexual abuse

    Just for a moment, let’s completely ignore the tragic cascade of underage child abuse victims themselves acting out the same behaviours on other minor family members or peers where the perpetrator really is as much a victim as the the one being abused.

    Have you ever tried, even for just a few seconds, to step inside the mind of the most hardened adult sexual offenders and imagine what they need to see in a child to begin taking steps towards victimizing him or her? Is there a pattern? Why would they target one child and completely ignore another?

    Read more
  • Quick fixes, Band-Aids and EMDR…
    Quick fixes, Band-Aids and EMDR…
    Comments Off on Quick fixes, Band-Aids and EMDR…

    When we receive referrals from the medical community of clients struggling with anxiety or panic disorder, one of the most common requests we get is for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. It’s highly popular — though I doubt if the majority of those who refer for such have any idea what they are suggesting.

    Read more
  • Tradition: But, we’ve always done it that way…
    Comments Off on Tradition: But, we’ve always done it that way…

    Medical Daily

    Tradition: It can make life rich (big ethnic holiday feasts) and sometimes limited (seemingly arbitrary social taboos about clothing), but where does it stem from?

    New research out of Karolinska Institutet’s Emotion Lab in Sweden attempts to answer that question, by creating a psychological model behind the notion of tradition. It turns out that humans have a tendency to be quite sheep-like: the researchers found that it likely comes from a threat of punishment — as well as people’s willingness to copy others.

    “Critically, many social behaviors, such as cooperation and adherence to religious taboos, are maintained by threat of punishment,? the authors wrote. “However, the psychological mechanisms allowing threat of punishment to generate such behaviors, even when actual punishment is rare or absent, are largely unknown.?

    In other words, people who adhere to tradition often due so for safety and survival. But people who see that tradition doesn’t offer protection from danger are more likely to break out of it.

    “We wanted to find out how these situations function in humans when we need to avoid danger,? said Björn Lindström, a researcher at the Department of Clinical Neuroscience and an author of the study. “We discovered that two separate, simple, psychological mechanisms — the copying of others behavior and the rewarding properties of avoiding danger together forms a potent driving force that helps explain how we can create and maintain norms and traditions.?

    The above linked is a rather convoluted mess and could have been much better written.

    Essentially, what it says is that we are a social species plagued by fear of punishment and we tend to believe that other people know better then we do how to avoid that punishment or danger. Because we think others know better, we copy their behaviours so frequently it eventually becomes a culture — what we call tradition — that may enshrine and perpetuate incredibly damaging behaviours for generations.

    Why? Because we are all afraid to change things in case everyone else knew better.

    An interesting counter-point to such is the life of Christ. He came literally hell bent on changing everything — especially the fabric of tradition that kept us in bondage to fear.

    How He did so?

    By cancelling forever the fear of judgment, the threat of punishment and the list of rules itself that made them possible.

    He then offered a new community and tradition based on love instead of coercion.

    In other words, He attacked everything that the above research identified as keeping tradition standing — and then gave everyone something new to copy.

    The increasing irrelevance of our churches could be erased in a heart-beat if they simply went back to such…

    Read more
  • Maybe faith is not so dead…
    Comments Off on Maybe faith is not so dead…

    National Post

    You don’t need to be a churchgoer to pray. That’s one of the findings of a sweeping new poll on faith from the Angus Reid Institute, conducted in partnership with Dr. Reginald Bibby of the University of Lethbridge. The recent survey of 3,041 Canadians showed that even as our affiliation with organized religion continues to decline we still believe — just in our own, often deeply personal, ways. Here’s a snapshot of how faith shapes our behaviour and our views of one another today.

    The infographic (Top link) pretty much speaks for itself. At least 76% of the population of Canada are people of some kind of at least minimal faith.

    Canadians may have abandoned the institutional church in droves — but 97% of those who are still there or have departed still believe in God, 87% pray, 99% identify with a religion, 79% feel strengthened by their faith, 94% believe in Heaven and 90% believe in angels.

    That’s HARDLY the so called, “Developing Pagan Nation,” we have heard so much about.

    If anything, this should be a stark wake up call for institutional religion. Every denominational group in the country just lost their right to worry about people leaving the faith — and need to start figuring out why they are leaving THEM!!!

    Read more
  • Giving hugs later doesn’t help…
    Comments Off on Giving hugs later doesn’t help…

    Science Daily

    “If you believe that you can shake your children or slap them across the face and then smooth things over gradually by smothering them with love, you are mistaken,” wrote lead researcher Jennifer E. Lansford on the Child and Family Blog. Lansford is a research professor at the Social Science Research Institute at Duke University. “Being very warm with a child whom you hit in this manner rarely makes things better. It can make a child more, not less, anxious.”

    The blog is a joint project of the Future of Children at Princeton University and the Applied Developmental Psychology Research Group at the University of Cambridge.

    Lansford calls it “one of many worrying findings” in the multicenter research about corporal punishment. They interviewed more than 1,000 children and their mothers, from eight different countries, asking about levels of physical punishment and also about anxiety and aggressive behavior on the part of the children.

    They found that while maternal warmth can lessen the impact of “low levels of corporal punishment” among children ages 8 to 10, both anxiety and aggression still remain — just not quite as much. It doesn’t typically diminish the negative impact of high levels of physical punishment. Lansford said countries with a more authoritarian parenting style, like Kenya and Colombia, see less effect on the children than other countries.

    “Generally, childhood anxiety actually gets worse when parents are very loving alongside using corporate punishment,” she wrote. The researchers aren’t sure why, but she said it might be “simply too confusing and unnerving for a child to be hit hard and loved warmly all in the same home.”

    There is truth here — and a rather clear example of simple ideological spin…

    The truth part of it is that the majority of the discipline tactics taught within the hallowed halls of fundamentalism are, in fact, child abuse and no amount of good intention or loving acts after, “Giving you a slap across that filthy mouth,” is going to lessen the impact of such. The hold of aggression and anxiety will remain the same and the abuse will only increase the chances of the same behavior occurring again.

    The spin?

    Note how the wording above changes from slapping kids across the face to corporal punishment. Because those are one and the same?


    Yet, you read nearly any writing on corporal punishment and you see this exact error replicated nearly constantly.

    Two obvious facts remain:

    (1). Corporal punishment is still in huge use around the world and across North America by people who, plainly, think these researchers are idiots.

    (2). We definitively KNOW that corporal punishment is largely ineffective and, at best, a short term solution.

    People still really do trust science and can be persuaded — by scientists that they see as having no axe to grind and no willingness to warp their language to accomplish such.

    We need more then a few of them in this field or people are forever going to read, “Spare the rod,” (Which was the expensive and fragile hooked tool used to steer and rescue sheep,) as, “Spare the staff.” (The straight fighting weapon used to violently defend sheep from marauding agents.)

    Read more
  • What keeps men from seeking help?
    Comments Off on What keeps men from seeking help?

    Good Men Project

    The shame experienced by men who have lost their position as the primary breadwinner in their family can be devastating. This is frequently more than just a lost job—it can also define the purpose of a productive life. The loss of purpose experienced in job loss can cripple self-esteem and destroy one’s concept of self-worth. This shame can create a solid barrier to discussion, particularly discussion with a stranger in therapeutic situations.

    In a poll sponsored by PacifiCare Behavioral Health and Psychology Today titled Therapy in America 2004, men responded with some discouraging feedback. They said they not only distrusted therapy and therapists, but they also would not even want to be associated with “the type of person? who typically receives therapy. That represents a level of contempt that makes a willingness to enter therapy a very difficult challenge, indeed.

    The poll also clarified three reasons why people who have identified themselves as needing treatment have still not gotten it. They said they stayed away because of the high cost, because they felt their problems were not serious enough to warrant treatment, and because of skepticism about the treatment actually working to solve the problems. A full 32 percent doubted the treatment would work.

    The image of the fully self-reliant man remains ingrained in the fabric of our social structure. Roughly 1,000 65-year-old males were the subjects of a 2011 study published by two Rutgers University sociologists, Kristen Springer and Dawne Mouzon. The “Macho Men? study reveals that avoidance of health care in general is the norm among macho-oriented males. These men were the most heavily invested in the belief that a “real man? is one who is strong to the point of virtual invulnerability.

    This same assumed invulnerability is, no doubt, the rationale behind the avoidance of health care even in the face of overwhelming evidence for its need. If a man is going to deny himself a visit to a doctor for a physical condition, he is even more likely to deny himself a visit to a therapist for mental conditions—especially any such condition that implies any weakness.

    Furthermore, the goals and benefits of therapy are frequently misunderstood. Therapists are not the only ones who hear things like “people can’t change? or “you can’t change the past.? But this is exactly what therapy is supposed to do. Therapy can change things for the better.

    While it obviously can’t change the past, therapy changes our emotional and cognitive reactions to the past. It can give us a new sense of awareness for the past and an entirely new set of beliefs and behaviours. With effective therapy, the emotional response to past events can change, and old beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us can be changed from limiting and negative beliefs to more positive ones. We can change a point of view from a belief in one’s limitations to expressions such as “I can handle life? and “I am in control.?

    Therapy can make a positive difference. The Therapy in America poll confirms that among those who have completed therapy, the vast majority of both men and women agree that it has helped. Getting a man through the door may present some serious challenges, but if he does manage to get there, the help is likely to be highly beneficial.

    The full article is well worth reading — but it misses one important point:

    The medical community, which used to be one of the primary referral sources to therapy, has now launched what is being described as an all out civil war against therapy.

    Oh, secure in the breathtaking arrogance of absolute certainty that all behavior results solely from biological/chemical interplay or imbalance in the brain, the medical community has thrown its weight behind one form of therapy they hold is the only scientifically proven form of therapy (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and immediately claimed the right to license family doctors to practice such. Beyond that, they have virtually ceased even bothering to train psychiatrists in anything but the dispensing of psychoactive medications.

    (Unfortunately, even the growing tsunami of evidence for parallel levels of quantum signaling in the brain has utterly failed to dissuade most from this dogma… )

    And, the value they see is real. There is much that is really good and beneficial about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, but it’s only one of so many tools — and it’s a limited one at that. Modifying a few distorted thoughts and beliefs is hardly an answer for the kind of internal turmoil men experience during the above defined sort of crisis situation. Trying to solve it with such creates a pressure cooker of unprocessed emotion in a man that likely WILL have him needing said psychoactive medications in fairly short order…

    Women, typically, will seek someone to talk to first. Men, if they seek help at all, will usually start by somatizing what they are feeling and seek medical help. If a doctor will tell a man to go for deep emotional or psychoanalytical therapy, then most men will take the risk.

    But, if the doctor displays their profession’s increasing bias against that deep heart level work, the door slams closed and men are left with little more then behavioral formulas and drugs.

    That generally results in nothing good…

    (Oh, and as to the insanity of the claim that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the only scientifically proven form of therapy, I leave you this.)

    Read more
  • Have you discovered, THE SECRET???
    Comments Off on Have you discovered, THE SECRET???

    Mark Manson


    Research also shows that actively engaging in positive thinking, such as when you imagine getting a job, doing well on an exam, or even successfully recovering after surgery, can actually result in poorer outcomes. Psychologists think that this kind of delusional positive thinking can make us complacent and lazy, as though we already accomplished something we have yet to accomplish, causing us to put forth less effort and to feel less motivated.

    Other studies show that people who engage in “self-affirmations? and are then presented with information that threatens their affirmation (even healthy criticism or feedback) actually engage in more faulty reasoning than people who don’t use self-affirmations. In fact, people who indulge in delusional positive thinking ironically become downright angry when someone tries to contradict their wall of airy-fairy thoughts. The truth about their situation just becomes that much more painful to them.

    Delusional positive thinking ironically generates greater closed-mindedness in people. They must always be vigilant and block out potentially negative feedback or criticism of their beliefs, even if that negative feedback is life-or-death important to their health and well-being.

    On top of all of that, as I have argued at length previously on this blog, we are all really bad at predicting what will make us happy and/or miserable in the future. So, by using the law of attraction, we might spend all this time and energy building a “future life? that isn’t what we want at all. Maybe we envision having drunken orgies every night of our lives and so we seek out swingers and weird kinky sex groups on Craigslist and, turns out, it’s not all that great and it kind of makes us depressed… but The Universe gave it to us because we asked for it! I think it’s healthier (and more practical) to reserve judgment on what I will or will not like until I find out through my own experience, rather than just make shit up and hope it works out well.

    The full article is so well written and complete it’s basically impossible to add to it.

    Just read it.

    (Especially, focus on the explanation of how The Secret sorta works and how such can completely, “Screw you up.”)

    Call me crazy, but I believe that changing and improving your life requires destroying a part of yourself and replacing it with a newer, better part of yourself. It is therefore, by definition, a painful process full of resistance and anxiety. You can’t grow muscle without challenging it with greater weight. You can’t build emotional resilience without forging through hardship and loss. And you can’t build a better mind without challenging your own beliefs and assumptions.


    Read more
  • Are you really so sure you, “Clearly remember???”
    Comments Off on Are you really so sure you, “Clearly remember???”


    The new study proves for the first time what psychologists have long suspected: that manipulative questioning tactics used by police can induce false memories — and produce false confessions.

    Published in January in the journal Psychological Science by Julia Shaw of Britain’s University of Bedfordshire and Stephen Porter, a forensic psychologist who studies the role of memory in the legal system at the University of British Columbia, the study holds striking implications for the justice system.

    “The human mind is very vulnerable to certain tactics in interviews,? Porter told the Star in an interview.

    Shaw and Porter recruited 70 students at a Canadian university who had never committed a crime, and told them they’d be taking part in a study about how well people could remember their childhoods. They asked students’ past caregivers for details about a vivid event that had taken place in the students’ lives between ages 11 and 14, such as an accident or an emotional first day at school. Caregivers and students agreed not to communicate about the experiment while it was ongoing.

    Researchers questioned the students for three sessions of about 40 minutes each. They asked them to recall two events in their past: the true event and an added false one, both of which they said the caregivers had told them about. The false event was described in as general terms as possible — simply “an assault? or “an incident where you were in contact with the police.?

    If subjects said they couldn’t remember the false event, questioners reassured them they would be able to retrieve their “lost memories? if they tried hard enough. If they began to “remember,? experimenters asked for more detail. Do you recall any images? How did you feel? Visualize what it might have been like, they said, and the memory will come back to you.

    By the end of the third interview, more than 70 per cent of subjects came to believe they had committed a crime just five or so years in the past. They didn’t merely agree they had done what the experimenters suggested — they generated all the details of the crime themselves, recalling vivid sensory memories and often becoming emotional and guilt-ridden.

    Some subjects persisted in believing they were guilty after they had been told the “crime? had been invented. “A few people argued with the experimenter and said, ‘Well no, I know this happened,’ ? says Porter.

    Think that’s scary? The psychologists did.

    “We ended the study prematurely,? says Porter. Once he and Shaw had interviewed 60 of the students and realized the proportion of them generating false memories was high enough to support their hypothesis, they decided to spare the remaining 10 subjects the unnecessary upheaval.

    If you really think the line, “The suspect later confessed during police interrogation,” means ANYTHING at all, you should probably read the full article.

    And, really, it means only somewhat less then another line: “I uncovered memories of my childhood ________ abuse during therapy.”

    The problem is, guilty people sometimes do finally crack under pressure and tell the truth — as also do innocent people admit to completely false things. People can partially or, in incredibly rare cases, completely repress memories only recovering them (sometimes in therapy) years later — but those memories can also be therapist created and implanted.

    Both the police and the therapeutic community would like to believe (or at least act like) the above abuses are difficult to accomplish and so rare they are nearly unheard of.

    Sadly, they’re not.

    There’s a reason the courts have forced the police to inform suspects of their right to have an attorney present — who nearly always ends the interrogation instantly. (Perhaps, so called, recovered memory therapists or trauma memory specialists should have the same in their therapy offices…)

    But, even more importantly, when a research group is ethically forced to end a study early because it is TOO EASY to implant false memories, perhaps no one should ever again be quite as sure that they, “Clearly remember…”

    Read more
  • Proof of intelligent life — barely…
    Comments Off on Proof of intelligent life — barely…


    The 2015 edition, as noted by The Washington Post, will mark perhaps the biggest change since the original 1977 advice by dropping the warning about cholesterol consumption. One of the six core goals since the 1970s has been to limit the intake of cholesterol to less than 300mg per day, however the present Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee (DGAC) does not believe that cholesterol consumption is something we need to be worried about.

    Foods high in cholesterol — such as eggs, offal, and seafood — have long been considered contributors to the risk of heart disease, however research seeking to establish any causative link between them and undesirable health outcomes has been equivocal. In the absence of a proper scientific consensus and given that the human body produces a lot more cholesterol than it takes in via the diet, the DGAC has decided that “cholesterol is not considered a nutrient of concern for overconsumption.” That’s not to say that cholesterol is completely innocuous, and having it clog up your arteries is still a threat to heart health, but the amount of it that you consume is no longer thought to be important enough to restrict.

    That’s a nice way of saying: “So, we spent the last 38 years warning you not to eat something knowing from the start it was based on no evidence at all beyond the idea that something called fat must make you fat and cause heart attacks. Um, ya, our bad — and sorry about making an entire nation (and, to some degree, world) gorge itself on carbs, get sick and die in record numbers…”

    But, time is a wasting…

    I must run and get myself a copy of the updated guidelines — I’m sure they will utterly transform my diet. I just know I can trust the dietary experts at the U.S. Government — they’re not bought and paid for by big Agra Biz or anything…

    Whatever was I thinking listening to people who have real research to back what they are saying like Dr. Barry Sears?

    Ok, rant over…


    Read more
  • Perhaps we should ask a mentally healthy sniper instead?
    1 Comment on Perhaps we should ask a mentally healthy sniper instead?


    Imagine the cultural shift that needs to take place for screenwriters to write, studios to greenlight, and A-list Hollywood actors to portray an American hero who says something like this in a blockbuster movie:

    “You feel like there is this debt that you build for every life that you take,? Garett tells me. “You feel like you owe the world something because you left it without this other person that could have done something amazing. I think about all of these soldiers coming out of the U.S. military and helping them get jobs and education and hearing about what they aspire to do and be in the world. And I wonder about all of the Iraqis, Syrians and others that we killed in that country and what they aspired to be.?

    Garett wonders about the mothers of those we killed in Iraq. What aspirations were dashed when an occupying force killed their children, for whom they invested so much of their lives?

    He did not keep track of his kills and he hates that I ask him for a number.

    “I wasn’t keeping track and oftentimes there was no confirmation. I feel it didn’t make me a better soldier and certainly doesn’t make me more of a man. If Chris Kyle got 160 confirmed kills, I joke and say that I missed 160 times. I wish that was true. We are talking about human beings and I hate quantifying that. Each life is so precious. We destroy that every time. One was too many, the truth is unspeakable.?

    Garett came home and began speaking out. He still does, in fact.

    There’s something stunningly repugnant about a society that would even think to elevate a sociopathic killer like Chris Kyle to anything but a locked ward somewhere — but the damage is done.

    At the very least though, this guy also needs to be heard.

    It’s how a mentally healthy person responds to war…

    Though, sadly, that probably makes him, “Un-American,” in the eyes of most…

    Read more
Can't find what you're looking for? Search Here!

Contact us

403 819 3545 (Text message capable)

info@henze-associates.com (iMessage capable)

403 819 3545, (Toll Free) 1 877 922 3143

Please email or text for information or bookings.

Back to Top