It’s not just a kiss.
The participants generally rated kissing in casual relationships as most important before sex, less important during sex, even less important after sex and least important “at other times.? (To clarify: researchers defined kissing as “on the lips or open-mouth (French).?)
Past research has shown that three types of people tend to be choosier in selecting mates who are genetically fit and compatible: women, those who rate themselves highly attractive, and those favouring casual sex. In this study, these people said that kissing was important mostly at the start of a relationship.
That may be because for these individuals, kissing turns out to be a quick, easy way to sample a partner’s suitability — a subconscious stop-go light. For them, “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s In His Kiss)? might not be far off the mark.
After that first kiss, these types are much more likely than other subjects to change their minds about a potential partner, researchers found. If it’s not in his kiss, forget about him.
But other people might use different criteria to size up their mates: men, those who rate themselves as less sexually attractive, and people looking for commitment. In the grand search for a partner, these individuals screen for people who seem to have the inclination and resources for the long haul. And for them, this study showed, kissing has a lower priority at the beginning of dating.
Particularly for men and women looking for long-term relationships, kissing serves other purposes, like relationship upkeep. They would use their orbicularis oris muscle to mediate, ameliorate and sustain their connections. They rated kissing equally important before sex and at “other times not related to sex.? For these participants, kissing was the least important during sex.
Among the study’s participants who said they were in exclusive relationships, frequency of kissing, rather than of sexual intercourse, was best correlated with relationship happiness.
“You would think that intercourse would be even more bonding, more intimate, but that’s not necessarily so,? Mr. Wlodarski said. “Maybe you have a happy relationship and you don’t need more intercourse.? For contented couples, he said, kissing continued to be a conveyor of emotion.
Science — the grand revealer of all psychological truth — strikes again with an absolutely brilliant and groundbreaking article that basically says the following:
If all s/he wants to do is make out with you right off the bat, s/he’s probably just looking to use you. But, if s/he keeps on kissing you, s/he’s a keeper…
I thought my grandmother once said something like that — but I must have been mistaken. The science had not yet been done… 😉